Out with the old, in with the new?

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious and Most Merciful.


I haven't blogged for so long AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA no I wasn't that busy or anything. Finished my first draft of the first three chapters of my thesis way early during the semester. And then there were few assignments but meh no biggie I really wasn't that busy. Not in that sense at least haha. I was busy with movies, and the sims, and trying to keep my shits together basically (yes I know lol material right there).

2015 has been amazing but I wouldn't mind leaving it behind. Maybe take some pieces of it here and there and keep em as memories for future (thus the reason why photos are really really reallyyyy important). A lot of things happened in 2015. Highlights are when dad got a news he will be re-transferred to Kluang (everyone was super ecstatic by the news and I am still beyond excited), Zahra turned 1 in September, I met a poopiehead (I just friendzoned him heyooooo!) during masum, Muiz got a girlfriend, and I finally managed to go back to our house at Alor Star. Oh you know among other things.

I have no idea what to expect for 2016. And I'm not gonna lie, I am hella scared. Dudeeeee shits are going to get real soon wei and I am not sure if I am prepared for that.

Here are the lists of things which are about to freak the crap out of me:

1. Another 2 chapters for thesis. And an impeccable piece of research proposal to be sent to universities in Australia, UK, Canada, and New Zealand. Yes, US is not in the list. I don't really like that country....? Hahaha but no US for me atm. Maybe later I'll rethink about this.
   
   
2. Theater performance at the end of the semester. Dude I can't act. I'd be laughing my eyeballs out, performing in front of people. Also, I can't even dance. I'm awkward and my movements are very very robotic. And I hate crowds. There won't be any throwing up like fire hydrant scene or anything but maybe somewhere there. Can't promise anything just yet. We'll see. But if Madam Rose decides to add fighting scene in the play, I'd like to take that role please. Or else I'll be behind the scene, completely minding my own business /winky face/
   
   
3. End of semester. Going back home for good. Now what do I do? Should I do part-time jobs? Maybe teach at English Learning Centre? Or school? I have no idea. I told you I haven't figured anything out yet.
   
   
4. July. My birthday and Eid. Holy crap things just got real weh I will actually be 23 by then. My 18 year-old self had planned this out. I would be married by 23. By the time I graduate, I would probably have a baby on the way or already have one (super quick, I know. My 18 year-old self failed Biology miserably). So during my convocation, my husband (as imagined by my 18 year-old self) would be attending together with my parents. HHAHAHA AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN, MATE. Well, for one thing, my 22 year-old self has decided I am not yet ready to be with someone. Marriage is too scary for me right now -considering I've seen how my cousins have been treated by their husbands, dramas on tv and twitter, wives being treated like maids and slaves rather than life partner. Also, I don't think I'm ready to be a mother. I'm a mess myself. I cry over movies and fictional characters in novels for crying out loud and you think I have the emotional endurance to have my own baby. I love having kids, I just want to make sure I am at least 30% ready by the time I decide to copulate and have a baby. Also, poopiehead's probably coming for Eid. I'm not hoping for anything lah if he comes, okay, if he doesn't also okay.
   
   
5. No more karate tourneys for me since the next masum will be in november and I'm officially out of UM by then hmm too bad. I would miss the crap out of having people punching me in the face, seriously speaking. And I'll miss Heas the most. I have no idea how that baby of mine is going to survive without me. Hopefully she'll keep on getting gold for more tourneys to come. 

Will save this for future freak-out moments. For now I'll just freak out over my paper which will be in roughly 12 hours. Bye for now. (HAMAGAHHHH I'M FINALLY POSTING SOMETHING AFTER SO LONG)